damn...

uh oh, think i shot someone.

we have a fireplace in our room. right above that, and just below my famed trophy 27-point elk head, is a gun rack. this rack is chock full of rifles and shotguns. i keep a .410 guage loaded and within reach at all times, in case of perps. i thought for sure we had one tonight.

i'm standing there, enjoying an annual ritual for this time of year, my xmas eve cuban smoke, when i notice i only have three more of these in my humidor. i can't believe my eyes, so i move the cigar box closer to the firelight. that's when i assess an unusual amount of soot pouring into the room, followed by a couple rocks. i put my ear to the hearth (not a good idea when the fire's roaring) and regain my senses a few seconds later.

somehow, snow put out the fire and now two tiny, shiny black boots dangle just above the fire pit.

"ah-ha! the fat little perp is stuck," i thought.

wasting no time, i snatch my .410 and pepper his meatier side.

then, like ben kenobe, "poof!" he's gone.

leaving behind a bloody, buckshot riddled elmo suit.

oh, and a room full of toys.

sorry kiddos, i hear tell you've all been really really really bad this year. that's the way the ball bounces. sorry.

now, does anyone know how this ebay thing works?